101 Funny Jokes To Make You Laugh

Not everyone can be a stand-up comedian, but anyone can certainly tell some funny jokes once in a while.

Having a good joke in your back pocket is helpful whether you’re trying to cheer up someone’s bad day, you just can’t stand the tiniest moment of silence, or you’re breaking the ice with new people. Because you can only take your polar bear to so many bars before he refuses to leave the house again. He is an introvert, you know.

Sure, there’s a time and place for more complex jokes. That time and place is usually a stage where you’re getting paid. Besides, it’s much easier to remember these simple, funny jokes and one-liners. Now if only you could remember what you needed at the grocery store, too.

101 Funny Jokes

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They’re his watch dogs.
How does an octopus go into battle? Well-armed.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.

What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse.
Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch cold.
What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college? Bison.
What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it.
Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One’s pretty heavy, and the other’s a little lighter.
Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head.
How does the ocean say hi? It waves!
What do you call a couple of chimpanzees sharing an Amazon account? PRIME-mates.
What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield.
How do you know when a bike is thinking? You can see their wheels turning.
What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.

Why can’t you ever trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
How do billboards talk? Sign language.
What fruit do twins love? Pears!
What is the strongest animal in the sea? Mussels.
Why are elevator jokes the funniest? Because they work on so many levels.
What do you call a famous turtle? A shell-ebrity!
How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles.
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.
Why did the puppy do so well at school? Because she was the teacher’s pet!

Why are fish so intelligent? Because they live in schools!
What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
Someone stole my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about that.
Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don’t work.
How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
What’s a cucumber’s favorite sport? Pickleball.
What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do his own anesthetic? Knock yourself out!
What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics!
Why do you smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
Just went to an emotional wedding — even the cake was in tiers.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? A receding hare-line.

What do you call a train carrying bubblegum? A chew-chew train.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. Sadly, no pun in 10 did.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentator.
Did you hear about the woman who couldn’t stop collecting magazines? She had issues.
I once made a lot of money cleaning up leaves. I was raking it in.
Why was the math book down in the dumps? It had a lot of problems.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag’s a plus.
Did you hear about the ski trip? It started off fine but went downhill fast.
Why should you avoid artists? They tend to be sketchy.
I’m afraid of elevators, so I take steps to avoid them.
Did you hear about the kidnapping? They woke her up.
Why did the computer hate commuting to work? It had a hard drive.
What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type.”
Where do happy lightning bolts live? Cloud nine.
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.
Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice!
What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her? Namaste.
How do you drown a hipster? Throw him in the mainstream.
What is the opposite of a croissant? A happy uncle.
What is an astronaut’s favorite key on a keyboard? The space bar.
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name.
Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins? You just have to listen varicosely.
I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
I used to be addicted to soap. But I’m clean now.

What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.
What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends? Snap chat.
Don’t leave any food around your computer. It takes a lot of bytes.
What did the broccoli say to the celery? Quit stalking me.
How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.
What’s the best thing to put into a pie? Your teeth.
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look. I’m about to change.
What did one DNA strand ask the other DNA strand? Do these genes look okay?
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
What’s a comedian’s least favorite drink? Booze.
What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? Put it on my bill!

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice…
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? “You look drunk.”
You know what kind of tea is the hardest to swallow? Reality.
Want to hear a joke about a skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
Know why they’re called the Dark Ages? Because there were a lot of knights.
I used to want to be a historian. Then I realized there was no future in it.
You know what job I could really see myself doing? Inspecting mirrors.
Want to hear my construction joke? I’ll tell you later — I’m still working on it.

Why did the developer go broke? Because he used up all his cache.
I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I refused to be talked to in that tone of voice!
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
Where do bad rainbows go? Prism, it’s a light sentence.
I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the “knock-knock” joke? He won the “no-bell” prize.

Author
Recent Posts

Ashley Hubbard

Ashley Hubbard is a freelance writer and creator. As a Let's Eat Cake contributor, she covers all things related to Starbucks, nails, entertainment news, pop culture trends, and more. Additionally, she regularly writes interview-based celebrity stories for Coping with Cancer magazine and has written for other publications, including Roadtrippers, Greatist, and Healthline. She has also been featured by Impact Travel Alliance as a creative who is transforming travel, and by Matador Network as a vegan travel blogger you should be following on Instagram.

Ashley is a Nashville unicorn (born, raised, and based), queer, vegan, and dedicated to leaving a positive impact through her life, work, and her website, Wild Hearted.

When she's not writing, she's traveling, reading a book, trying not to kill her houseplants, worshiping her dog, or having an existential crisis. Follow her on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and Twitter, and LinkedIn

Latest posts by Ashley Hubbard (see all)