Funny knock-knock jokes are more complicated than you think. For instance, imagine a squirrel trying to understand even the simplest one. First, you have to know how doors operate. Then you need to comprehend social greetings.
And if you can grasp that, you get to wrap your squirrel brain around the idea of a theatrical set-up (there is no door, really) and give in to the concept that the person starting the joke is playing the part of someone else…and that character may be an inanimate object, a pun, or an abstract concept, all of which somehow can talk.
Knock-knock jokes are more than just silly dad humor. They are a complex, abstract art form, like jazz and tie-dye. And they have a rich history. After reading approximately 1.2 million knock-knock jokes, we’re offering you the best of the best. Use these funny knock-knock jokes to delight your friends and frustrate squirrels.
1. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Etch.
Etch who?
Bless you!
2. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
The interrupting cow.
The inter—
Mooooo!
3. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up, it’s cold out here!
4. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
I smell map.
I smell map who?
Ewww!
5. First Part: Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the ugly persons house
Second Part: Knock knock
Who’s there?
The Chicken!
6. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
It’s to whom!
7. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Omelet.
Omelet who?
Omelet you go. I can see you’re busy.
8. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
A millennial.
Millennial who?
TEXT THEM: A Millennial who doesn’t knock on doors. Come on out. We’re waiting.
9. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cook.
Cook who?
Yes you certainly are.
10. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Oswald.
Oswald who?
Oswald a bug! [cough]
11. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Adore.
Adore who?
Adore is between us, so open it!
12. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
The talking lobster.
The talking lobster who?
How many talking lobsters do you know?
13. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Two knee.
Two knee who?
Two-knee fish!
14. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks. I have a nut allergy.
15. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Budweiser.
Budweiser who?
Budweiser door locked? It’s me! Open up!
16. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banksy.
Banksy who?
[Shake your head] Never mind. You don’t “get” it, man.
17. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Spell.
Spell who?
Okay, okay: W. H. O.
18. Knock knock
Who’s there?
Amos
Amos who?
A mosquito bit me!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Andy.
Andy who?
And he bit me again!
19. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
The KGB.
The KGB—
The KGB will ask the questions!
20. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Control freak. [quickly add:] Now this is where you say, “Control freak, who?”
21. Knock Knock!
Who’s There?
Snow!
Snow who?
Snow laughing matter.
22. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Nita.
Nita who?
Nita get a doorbell.
23. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
It’s Justice.
It’s Justice who?
It’s Justice now! The zombies killed everyone else! Open up!
24. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dozen.
Dozen who?
Dozen make sense. You can clearly see it’s me. Open up!
25. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the tub! It’s overflowing!
26. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Claire.
Claire who?
Claire the way, I’m coming through!
27. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Wow. You sure are excited to see me!
28. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don’t go around knocking on doors, but I just had to meet you!
29. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting sloth.
Interrupting sloth who?
[15 seconds later]
SLOOOTTTHHHHH
30. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
No. Car go, “Beep-beep!”
31. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome.
32. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Mikey.
Mikey who?
Mikey got lost. Let me in.
33. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Closure.
Closure who?
Closure mouth, you look like a cow.
34. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Never mind. There’s no point.
35. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
You expect cabbages to have last names?
36. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs your doorbell.
37. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ryan Phillippe.
Ryan Phillippe who?
Yeah. Exactly.
38. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita a minute to think of a funny punchline.
39. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio not, here I come!
40. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Pretty Police.
Pretty Police who?
Pretty Poh-lease open the door. Please!
41. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Oink-oink.
Oink-oink who?
Are you a pig or an owl! Make up your mind!
42. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
[sing] Hannah partridge in a pear tree!
43. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Doris.
Doris who?
Doris locked. Open up!
44. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Juicy.
Juicy who?
Juicy what I just saw!
45. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice joke get any funnier?
46. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Thermos.
Thermos who?
Thermos be a better joke than this.
47. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Icy.
Icy who?
Icy you.
48. Will you remember me in a day?
Yes.
Will you remember me in a month?
Yes.
Will you remember me in a year?
Yes.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
You liar!
49. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Thomas Mapother IV.
Thomas Mapother IV who?
Oh sorry. You probably know me as Tom Cruise.
50.Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Isaac.
Isaac who?
Isaac of knock knock jokes. Aren’t you?
Follow him on Twitterand Instagram. Or just meet up with him at Dunkin Donuts, where he does most of his writing. Be there at 2 p.m. He will wear a red rose in his hair so you know it’s him.
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