It’s Scorpio season. Which means it’s time to get one of these independent, mysterious individuals a present. Trying to figure out what to get one of these secretive fixed water signs what to get for their birthday might feel like you’re in Mission Impossible 12.
While you’re working on those stunt moves, we’ve put together this Scorpio gift guide you can use in the meantime.
Scorpio Gift Guide
1. Funny Astrological Scorpio Pencil Set, $10
Get the Scorpio in your life these snarky pencils so they can write down all their secrets about you in their private journal.
Available on Etsy.
2. The Zodiac Horoscope Sign
A literal neon sign telling people exactly who you are seems like a great way to weed out the ones that can’t handle you.
Available on Amazon.
3. Greenline Goods Scorpio Stemless Constellation Wine Glass
This is technically a wine glass, but it works for anything liquid. Wine? Sure. Tea? Why not. Blood of those that have crossed them? Definitely.
Available on Amazon.
4. Such a Scorpio Greeting Card, $6.06
Here’s a card to go with the perfect Scorpio gift. You may as well be as extra as the person you’re buying for.
Available on Etsy.
5. The Wild Unknown Tarot Deck and Guidebook
A new deck of tarot cards may be the perfect gift for your favorite Scorpio. It’s also a safer alternative than a Ouija board, because who knows who they’d try and contact from the other side. Voltaire, again?
Available on Amazon.
6. Scorpio Coffee Mug, $12
Do you worry Scorpio friend comes off as a little too mysterious to everyone else they know? They’ll appreciate this coffee mug so they don’t have to constantly explain what RBF is.
Available on Etsy.
7. Scorpio Zodiac Art, $7
Scorpios tend to be artsy and this minimalist print will be a great housewarming gift. Now if only they’d tell you where they live.
Available on Etsy.
8. Malicious Women Candle Co – Scorpio The Zodiac B*tch
If your friend is “The B*tch Who Will Not Quit” then we found the perfect candle for them. How very specific.
9. Woven Astrology Zip Pouch, $34
This colorful pouch will keep you off of their top-secret bad list. Especially if you get them those pencils to go in it.
Available at Uncommon Goods.
10. Dior Hypnotic Poison Eau de Toilette, $62
Between the deep apple red color, the “hypnotic poison” name, and the sensual scent, we can’t imagine anyone but a Scorpio being in mind when this perfume was created. Or, Snow White.
Available at Ulta.
11. Herbivore Botanicals Calm Bath Salts, $25
The water sign may have wanted a vintage clawfoot tub, but they’ll also might be happy with these bath salts. If not, they will be after they’ve used them to calm down.
Available on Liberty London.
12. Temptress Arousal Oil, $18
Scorpios are arguably the sexiest zodiac sign, so they don’t need any help in the seduction department. But just in case, this CBD-infused oil enhances blood flow which we all know what that means. They’re gonna need more band-aids.
Available on Simple Jane.
13. Scorpio Zodiac Sign Cold Cup, $22
You might think most Scorpios want to drink their coffee black, but you’d be surprised. According to the experts (us), this Starbucks cup would go great with perfectly suited Java Chip Frappuccino. And revenge.
14. Skull Bath Bomb, $6
As the most intimidating water sign, it makes sense Scorpios would bathe with the skulls of their enemies. Leave some room for actual water this time, guys!
Available on Etsy.
15. Death Tarot Card Ring, $34.99
In the tarot deck, Scorpio corresponds to the Death card in the Major Arcana. We give our cat one with after each life blow through. Fluffy, stop playing with that wall socket!
16. Big Scorpio Energy Zodiac Sign Embroidered Baseball Cap, $13.49
It’s like BDE but worse.
Available on Etsy.
17. Polennon Scorpio Oil Diffuser
If Scorpios need anything, it’s to take time to unwind. This oil diffuser, humidifier, and night light all in one will let them think about maybe doing that.
Ashley is a Nashville unicorn (born, raised, and based), queer, vegan, and dedicated to leaving a positive impact through her life, work, and her website, Wild Hearted.
When she's not writing, she's traveling, reading a book, trying not to kill her houseplants, worshiping her dog, or having an existential crisis. Follow her on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and Twitter, and LinkedIn
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