Watermelons are the perfect summer snack. They’re sweet, juicy, and allow us to show off our seed spitting skills. If you love this fruit as much as we do, then you’ll definitely get a kick out of these watermelon jokes.
And, any math problem where someone inexplicably has 65 watermelons they’re trying to give away. BRB while we go borrow a pick-up truck.
The next time you need a funny pun or cheesy one-liner, serve up one of these jokes about everyone’s most beloved melon. Sorry, cantaloupe. Better luck next time.
35 Watermelon Jokes
- Why do watermelons never get married? Because they can’taloupe.
- How do you start a watermelon race? You “rind” up the competitors.
- Why are watermelons the saddest fruit? Because they’re melon-cholic!
- Why are watermelons such good gossips? They have all the juice.
- What did one watermelon say to the other at the wedding? “You’re one in a melon!”
- Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool? It wanted to be a watermelon.
- Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telenovela? It was so melondramatic.
- What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green? When you eat a watermelon!
- Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon? Rind of.
- How are a car and a bicycle similar? You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.
- Why are watermelons such good entrepreneurs? They always have seed money.
- If there is watermelon, why isn’t there firemelon and airmelon and earthmelon? You know…the four elemelons!
- How does Homer Simpson say watermelon in French? Melon D’OH.
- If Bob has 15 watermelons and throws one at Todd, what does Todd have? A really bad headache!
- Did you hear about the fruit who was convicted of armed robbery? Now he’s a waterfelon.
- What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon? Pork rinds.
- What kind of summer camp would a toilet, a mountain lion, and a watermelon all go to? A John Cougar Melon Camp.
- Why was the teacher suspicious of the Watermelon during the exam? She thought it looked a little seedy.
- Why did the farmer plant a seed in his pond? He was trying to grow a water-melon.
- A group of cacti walk past a couple of watermelons. The cacti say “wow, nice melons!” The watermelons reply “what a bunch of pricks.”
- What do you call a dog that herds watermelons? A Melon Collie.
- The watermelon is 50% water. The other 50% is melon.
- Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions? They’re always melon it over.
- What do you call a Mailman who only delivers watermelon? Post Melone.
- How many watermelons does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They’re watermelons. They don’t have hands.
Watermelon Puns
- What did the watermelon say when it proposed to its sweetheart? “Honeydew want to get married?”
- What do you call a melon that commits a crime? A water-fellon!
- Y’all gonna make me lose my rind.
- I really like you. You’re one in a melon.
- What do you call a cat who ate too much fruit? A watermeowlon.
- If I can save up enough, one day I’ll be a melonaire!
- Why won’t anyone sit next to a watermelon? They have a strange smelon.
- Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
- Why did the watermelon go crazy? He lost his rind.
- Want to know how I keep my grass so green? I water-melon every day.
- Did you hear the joke about the watermelon? It’s pit-iful!
- How does that one Miley Cyrus song go? “I came in like a melonball!”
Hannah Rex is Let’s Eat Cake’s Executive Editor. She has a background in journalism, content marketing, and SEO writing. She currently covers entertainment news, food news and trends, pop culture trends, and more. In addition to Let’s Eat Cake, she has written for companies including Beachbody, FitPlan, Soothe, and Her Campus. She also manages Let’s Eat Cake’s Instagram and weekly newsletters.
When not sitting behind a computer writing and editing, she’s an avid runner and yogi with an RYT 200 certification. Follow her on Instagram @hannah_rex and LinkedIn.
When not sitting behind a computer writing and editing, she’s an avid runner and yogi with an RYT 200 certification. Follow her on Instagram @hannah_rex and LinkedIn.
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